would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
