You made me cry and you don't even care
I need help removing her.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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