I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
