I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
