She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
