I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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