My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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