Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As shirtless as possible
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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