i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
