Kareoke will never be a sober sport
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
