Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't put those talents on a resume
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
