Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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