Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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