it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
