I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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