It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
