you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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