it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
