I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
