Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
