Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
