This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
