textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
