I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
