Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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