My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we have pet lesbian snakes
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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