I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
soo... how was my night?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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