Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
