there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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