I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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