I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
