Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
