He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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