community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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