Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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