she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
