I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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