Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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