Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
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