I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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