Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
