who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
