it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
