i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
