I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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