So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
