Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
