Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
whose parrot is this?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
