Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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