So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
