Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
