I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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